Hey'It's your 60th birthday!' 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Live album by George Carlin, 1988. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. "What Am I Doing in New Jersey?". He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Like. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. Showing search results for "George Carlin Birthday" sorted by relevance. George Carlin (1998). The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . He had an uncanny ability to cut through the clutter of everyday life, and for this, we want to honor this man with our favorite inspirational quotes from George Carlin. Famous Birthday Quote. If I cared about Mickey Mouse's birthday I would have memorized it years ago! I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. The people are fucked.". Deal with it.3.Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.4.Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.5.A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.6.Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.7.The caterpillar does all the work, but thebutterflygets all the publicity.8.Never argue with an idiot. Lets be honest: the man was whip smart and about as funny as you could get. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. It is time to party! Happy 60th Birthday filled with lot of happiness and joy! Try spelling Evian backward.10.Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., 11.Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away.12.Think off-center.13.Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.14.Dont just teach your children to read. 65th Birthday Birthday Wishes Funny Birthday Friends Husband Advertising God Birthday Funny Catholic Humanity Driving Addiction Smile World Movies Reason Libraries Lies. "In America, anyone can become president. The people are f**ked.58.If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.59.Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.60.I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! But he loves you. Documentary, Comedy, 1984. "Democracy Now!" with Amy Goodman, www.democracynow.org. Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Probably far more. George Carlin. Show more. (function(){var g=this,h=function(b,d){var a=b.split(". George Carlin. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid., by Quotezine Team April 5, 2018, 5:39 pm, by emmanuel tamrat July 8, 2016, 8:54 am, by Quotezine Team April 24, 2016, 10:32 pm, by Quotezine Team February 15, 2016, 10:17 pm, by Quotezine Team November 27, 2015, 7:19 pm, by emmanuel tamrat September 14, 2015, 2:06 pm, comedianscomedy quotesdeadfunny quotesfunny quotes and sayingsfunny sayingsgeorge carlinlovemarriageone linerspoliticsreligiontop 25. It certainly qualifies. Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. We havent tried that for a while. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Fewer Texans. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Submit Quote George Carlin On Birthdays Quotes & Sayings Showing search results for "George Carlin On Birthdays" sorted by relevance. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. He loves you. If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.". May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday! "),c=g;a[0]in c||!c.execScript||c.execScript("var "+a[0]);for(var e;a.length&&(e=a.shift());)a.length||void 0===d?c[e]?c=c[e]:c=c[e]={}:c[e]=d};var l=function(b){var d=b.length;if(0, by Quotezine Team November 3, 2013, 10:53 pm. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it, because you've lost your identity, because you now owe your allegiance to this thing that's bigger than you are and that controls you. "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. Chris Rock. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Teach them to question everything.15.We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin Birthday Quotes & Sayings . 1. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.2.Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.9.Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. Happy 60th Birthday! The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's. Happy Birthday! I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic f***** hatreds! George Carlin Birthday Quotes & Sayings . We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose it'll be much harder to detect. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. Every table had an argument going. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. I liked the radio comedians. If it makes you feel better, fine. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.35.By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.36.How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette?37.Religion is just mind control.38.Dont give your money to the church. This significance of this day is beyond just your birthday. Every passing year brings in an experience and a hope for tomorrow. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. 32. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept. I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven't changed much since I was in my twenties. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them.". There are some secrets we keep because we can't bear to let them out and some because it's better to keep them in. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.33.If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor.34.Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. tags: humor , sci-fi , sleep. I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain. He's the subject of a new documentary. Below are the absolute best quotes we could find from this legendary comedian's career. It is a celebration of someone that is loved and greatly admired. Try spelling Evian backward. He's just sayin' that stuff.'. When shes not writing for Quotezine, she can be found excessively quoting The Simpsons or binge watching Netflix. Related Topics. Oh especially three. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Youve seen or experienced a lot of wonderful things all these years. You have owners. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it's not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing - it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. In a career that spanned over 50 years, what remained constant was his opinionated nature and take no prisoners approach to comedy. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. been here 4 1/2 billion years. 1."Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. TV Special, www.imdb.com. 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Maybe this time it'll work. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. The challenge is to find it. We havent tried that for a while. This post is not only a celebration to everything he stood for, but a reminder that some of the most powerful messages we receive in life can come from the most unlikely places. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. There is nothing wrong with the planet. His take on conventional comedy made him one of the most famous and widely remembered artists till date. Good. Discover George Carlin quotes about language. Share with friends. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, Hyperion. Happy 60th Birthday! I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. Weve collected some of his greatest quotes all in one place. There's no present. Birthday Quotes - BrainyQuote. You are just a 20 year old with 40 years of experience. The more you age the more valuable you become. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, his distinctive and provocative style of speeches, aimed at ridiculing the vices of the American society, redefined the genre and influenced a great number of comics. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokes Quotes & Sayings . Took some time to get there, but it's absolutely amazing once you arrive. One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. cancer, the war on drugs. [CDATA[ 1.Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Enjoy the best George Carlin Quotes at BrainyQuote. His stand up routines have covered everything from politics and religion to relationships and the world around us. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Oprah Winfrey. Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. "Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood. Our views are no different: the man was a legend. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi.63.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?. Next View All. When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands. Turning partly light by morning." (as Al . We haven't tried that for a while. However, he is mostly known for his dark comedy that sheds light on a variety of subjects like politics, psychology, taboo subjects, religion and the English language. To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. William Butler Yeats: "From our birthday, until we die, / Is but the winking of an eye." Plato: "Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom.
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